Fears

Recently, I thought about how I mostly write in this blog to keep my audience up to date on my current projects. My original intent for creating a blog was not to brag about my success or how I think my life is awesome, but to give an inside glimpse into what life is really like when everything revolves around your art. I'm going to do my best to go back to that thought, at least for today's entry.

I've been inundated with fear lately: fear of the unknowns in my life.

For the last year, I have worked seven days a week a one job or another or both (or three), rehearsed five or six days a week, and had some sort of performance every three weeks or so. I'm beginning to realize that this extreme lifestyle is not sustainable.

When I decided to give up my 9-5 job to pursue my art and teaching careers, I fully believed that I would spend my first year sorting everything out. How would I make ends meet while the studio is still in it's infancy? How can I allow myself to sacrifice a lot of money for art? How can I remain unselfish and understand when my husband needs to take time out of his 9-5 job to pursue his acting career? I'm still sorting things out, and I'm starting to become concerned.

I don't want to work part-time at Starbucks indefinitely. I don't know when my performing/choreographing/directing career will be winding down, when I will have enough time to pursue a "real job" (aka a paying job). Believe it or not, but I do want to have a family. Depending on which way I decide to take my life, I'm afraid that I'll either kill my dance career or ruin my chances at ever earning enough money to live in a nice apartment.

I'm sure these are fears that everyone has, and they are fears to have been floating around in my brain for a few years now. I think all of this has bubbled to the surface lately because I am starting to make long-term, life-altering decisions. I'm scared and excited alternately every day. I am thankful for my opportunities and overwhelmed by them all the time.

I know that I should just relax and let my life happen, not try to plan things too much, because that's when the greatest things have happened for me (meeting my husband, crashing on a friend's couch for two months in NYC, auditioning for IDC). It's just so hard to not know what is going to happen in the next six months.

Once I finally get a day off, I'll have time to put things into perspective a little bit better.

Up and up

It's been a while and many things have happened in my personal dance life.

For example, I will be attending the Dance/USA conference tomorrow! Dance/USA is a national organization that provides support for dance companies. Check it out: www.danceusa.org
I have much still to learn, being that I've only been in my director position for 9 months, and am excited to be a sponge and soak up some new information tomorrow.

As the Touring and Outreach Director of Innervation Dance Cooperative, I feel that my work is never done. So many schools to contact! So many festivals to research! Somehow, IDC has had more touring opportunities lately than possibly ever.

On Monday, we performed at the House of Blues! Spur-of-the-moment, completely random...we were asked to be a part of the "Service Industry Talent Night." Since many of our dancers are servers, bartenders, and (ahem) baristas, we were able to participate. The show ended up consisting of 5 bands and IDC, so the modern ballet dancers definitely stood out.

We had a blast, rehearsing up until the last minute in our fabulously outfitted dressing room. On stage, we tip-toed around instruments and sound equipment. In the crossover space, a drummer practiced on a desk chair seat.

What a fun way to get our name out into a completely different world -- I'd say that there were at least a hundred people there.

Up next for me: Performing with GI Alliance at Edgewater Arts Festival and Celebrate Clark Street, Dance Camp at NorthSide Dance Theater, IDC tour of "Gods, Monsters, and Heroes" to Ravenswood School, organizing dance parties with IDC at the Morton School back to school fair...and that's just July.

Until next time.

Hello again

Dear DITLOADers,

So sorry I haven't posted in nearly two months! In that time, I performed in GI Alliance's spring show, performed in festivals with Renegade Dance Architects, produced and performed in Innervation Dance Cooperative's spring show, and produced the IDC after school dance club's show.

I've clearly been a little busy.

It's been a wonderful beginning to spring, and the work hasn't stopped. The day after closing the IDC show, some of us went right back into rehearsal to prepare for a school tour date of "Gods, Monsters and Heroes." That will be next Friday. Also, GIA has remained in rehearsal. We are putting on an in-studio fundraiser performance called "1,2,3,4." That is also next Friday! In addition, of course Renegade Dance Architects is revving up the classes and rehearsals...we still have a few more pieces that are being set over the summer for our show in August.

All of this, plus teaching and taking class at NorthSide (and hopefully sneaking in a couple of other classes at Lou Conte's)...I'm happier than a pig in mud. I am currently dancing twice as much as I am working at Starbucks. This life is what I dreamed of living, and never thought possible.

I have so much more that I want to talk about, so expect to read more soon.

Daydreams and Rants

This is exactly how I dreamed my life would be. Working with wonderful people everyday who continue to inspire me. Surrounded by artists, a community that is supportive rather than competitive. Struggling to make ends meet, but surviving (and dare I say, thriving).

I have had many ups and downs recently, and as I was talking with two of my friends at separate times yesterday, I think the downs were only a product of exhaustion. When well-rested, I feel nothing but absolute peace. How could I want for more?

I feel blessed to be working with such wonderful people -- the partners at NorthSide Dance Theater, company and co-op of IDC, and dancers of GIA, and RDA.

This was the first Chicago audition season that I haven't participated in since I've been here. I didn't go to the cattle calls of impossibility (aka River North or Hubbard Street), and didn't go to some that were maybe a little more possible for SOMETHING to come out of it (aka New Dances). I'm extremely busy with everything that I'm working on right now...and for the first time I feel completely fulfilled by my work and want nothing else.

I have finished two dances that are about to premiere, one dance has mere seconds to completion and the fourth has less than 30 seconds. And...I really like what I've done. I hope you do too!


Now that I have filled your minds with fluffy, daydreamy spouts of my genuine happiness, I have to rip those pretty clouds to talk about not so nice stuff. Fundraising. Or rather, lack of support from audiences at fundraisers.

I have had a couple fundraisers so far this year for a couple of my dance companies, and I've noticed a trend: the lack of attendance from our patrons. I am so happy that there are people who are interested in small contemporary dance companies and actually crack their wallets open to pay $20 or less for an evening length show. Bravo, dance lovers! I don't understand why people don't find the fundraisers leading up to said show to be just as important. We can't put on a show without funds.

Non-profit arts organizations are in a bind. We have drive and goals and missions and dreams. We don't have money. We have debt. The few number of grants available are difficult to obtain, but please believe that we are trying. So many other organizations just like my dance companies are in need of financial support, so competition is tough.

That's why private funding is so important. That's why I advertise my "so many" fundraisers to my friends. I'm not trying to leech your back account. I just figure that if you like what I do, you might like to see more of it in the future.

This topic is on my mind because I had an awesome fundraiser a week ago (endless pizza and wine for 3 hours for $25!) that was poorly attended. It made me and other people very sad. I also have a hugely awesome fundraiser coming up this Saturday. All the bells and whistles included (4 hour open premium bar, dinner by Wildfire, live band, dance lesson, teaser performance, raffles and auctions) for only $50. That is much less than you would pay to go out to dinner and then to see a show. Yet, so far, our tickets sales are pretty low. And you know what...I have a fundraiser next weekend too. $10 for a free drink and a show. (PS, if you want specific information about these events just let me know.)

My main point is that we can all dig in and attend fundraisers with a little bit of planning. Everyone's excuse these days is that there just isn't enough money. It's such an easy default when the economy is in a slump. It's just frustrating to see people spend huge amounts of money on TVs, furniture, vacations, and fancy dinners without even thinking otherwise yet won't pull out a dollar for a raffle ticket to help a non-profit buy a sewing needle.

All of the above comes from a source of frustration, but I hope that it inspires me and you to invest in what is important to you.
I won't yell at you if it happens to be a TV.

A difficult decision

I made a difficult decision this weekend. For almost a year now, I had planned on auditioning for Thodos Dance Chicago's "New Dances." It's the only time of year that they audition non-company dancers to be included in a show. I was so excited, but then at the last minute I realized that I have absolutely no time to be involved in another show. This is not the type of audition where it is okay to take the company's four-hour audition as a free class, and then turn down a role if it is offered. I believe that would be very disrespectful. Plus, if I had been offered a role, I know I would have taken it.
I love having many projects going on at the same time. It's exciting! I just don't want so much on my plate that my passion becomes a chore. I already have glimpses of that now, subtle hints that I may have too much of a good thing.
As you probably well know (because I remind people of what I'm working on all the time), I am now working on three different shows. After the IDC show in May, I didn't have anything else planned. I recently met with my friend, the artistic director of Renegade Dance Architects, and spoke of my intentions to continue to perform with the company. Since that conversation, I will now be in a show in August.
I'd say that is enough on my plate for now.

I have more that I want to talk about (in regards to raising money for non-profits and other things that disappoint me), but we'll save that for next time.

It's been a little while, and I've been rather busy.
The big news is that my husband and I just moved to a new apartment. We're a bit north of our old place, but the location is excellent. We're still extremely close to reliable public transportation, near shops and restaurants, and I'm much closer to the studio now.
The move was financially essential. Now that I am making nearly half what I made last year, we had to cut expenses somewhere. Easiest solution was to find a cheaper apartment. So now we are living in a beautiful two bedroom apartment above close friends, and we have a roommate (an actor) to split the costs.
I would love to say it has been a smooth transition, but it's been difficult for me to adjust to certain aspects of the move. I always get territorial in a new spaces, and I have been more defensive that usual about my design and organization ideas. I don't think it has helped that all three of us are extremely busy with work and rehearsals and performances and don't have a ton of time to devote to unpacking the new apartment.
Slowly, things are falling into place. And hopefully soon I will turn back into the relaxed, respectful, easygoing Stephanie that I want to be.

But dance is not slowing down at all. I am in a performance this week (IDC is the guest company for Columbia College's Dance/Movement Therapy Alumni Concert), have teaser performances in upcoming fundraisers for IDC and GIA, then my piece for Renegade was accepted into Chicago Fringe Artists Networking Night, and then it's the GIA show...and then a few weeks later is the IDC show!

So many exciting and new things in my life. I hope you will follow along as I come across new adventures.

Ramblings, or "The Next Thing"

I've been hanging around the apartment, bored, for the last few hours. Lately, I impress myself with how quickly I become restless when I'm supposed to be "resting." Tonight is arguably my only night off for the next several weeks, to be followed by back to back 15 hour days and moving to a new apartment.

I've packed up some clothes, eaten dinner, watched half an hour of tv, and then started watching some clips of pieces that I'm working on. Watching dance got me started on researching more opportunities for myself. I clicked through webpages for dance companies, studios, choreographers, other dancers that I know, searching for something that would trigger inspiration.

It's a constant obsession: what else can I be doing to improve myself? What other types of work can I be doing? Who else can I collaborate with? When can I fit in more classes?

Don't get me wrong: I never want any of my peers to think that I am not fully content with the work that I am currently doing. I love the companies that I work with (and see a great deal of potential for them to do great things), love the dancers that I'm working with, and I just feel very lucky for everything that I have right now. However, I do still have quite a bit of determination to become...better. A more skilled dancer, a more convincing actress, a more moving performer, a more creative choreographer, a more productive director. Just better, overall.

I'm currently looking at what comes next. GI Alliance's show will be over (for now at least) in April, Innervation's show will be over in May, and Renegade is looking at late summer for a concert. I realize that for most people, June and July are still quite off in the future, but I am automatically looking for something that will work perfectly with my schedule and still offer me further opportunities as an artist.

Hopefully, the New Dances audition next month will go well.
If not, it's on to...the next thing.

Obstacles and Opportunities

It's been a month since I last posted. You might think it's because I have been so busy, that I haven't had a chance to sit down. Honestly, I'm not flitting around as much as I expected. Instead, I have been using my downtime to watch TV series with my husband. Guilty.

Just when I started feeling prematurely overwhelmed, I realized that I don't always have rehearsal 6 days a week as I expected I would. I do, however, still have to keep those slots open for the possibility of rehearsal 6 days a week. I'm okay with that.

Last week, we had the biggest snow storm since I moved to Chicago. The amount of snow and unclear roads kept me at my apartment for 3 days--rehearsals cancelled, schools closed, no classes at the studio. I thought I would go crazy from boredom and lack of exercise. I've realized that I do need a day off here and there to recharge, enjoy the little things in life, and remind myself that there are many things in this world outside of dance...but three days in a row...I don't want that again for a long time!

In the last week, I have felt like I have been accomplishing goals, and surprising myself with the results. As of right now, three of the pieces that I'm setting have mere seconds until completion. I'm also pretty darn proud of all three. The contemporary ballet that I'm creating for the GI Alliance spring concert will be previewing in a couple of weeks, and I didn't expect to be so close to finishing it before the showing. If you'd like to come take a look, and maybe even give me your feedback, stop on by NorthSide Dance Theater on February 20 at 1. It's the end-of-session Student Showing, but my piece (and maybe a few other GIA pieces???) is appearing as an example of "professionals." (Why did I put that in quotes? I guess it is hard to believe that I am a professional dance artist.)

Speaking of the studio, we have grown a little bit this session. More new people stopping by for information and to register for classes. My beginning modern class has gone from one person to three devoted students. I also have a kids jazz class with a couple little ones--what a blast! Now, it's my kids ballet class that's getting me down. It WAS, arguably, one of the most successful classes at the studio. I had five pink ballerinas. They worked hard, they had fun, even I had fun. Then, the two older girls dropped out (one not by choice). A third little girl comes and goes. I'm left with two very cute, very chatty, very unfocused kiddies.

Last night was such a depressing class. Both little girls didn't have their hair up, and I couldn't find any hair ties. Right then and there, I was doomed. The entire class was fidgeting and chatting and repeating combinations over and over until they paid attention.

I'm at a loss. I have a hard time working with students that don't seem like they want to be in class, no matter their age. I also have a hard time when students don't understand that learning how to dance takes time and hard work. I have many students (children, teenagers, young adults) who expect to take a few months of classes and be instant professionals. It's all about instant gratification. Whatever happened to perseverance?

In any case, I do feel some pressure to keep this class going strong. These six year olds are the future of the studio! Oh boy.

These challenges propel me to want more training, to go to workshops, to discuss ideas with other teachers, to read books and magazines. So I guess, in the end, the small obstacles create opportunity for growth. For that, I am thankful.

On finding balance and beauty

I went to see my dear friend's professional choreographic debut tonight at Dance Chance. If you haven't heard of Dance Chance before, please, please go and experience this treat to the dance world as soon as you have a free moment. Dance Chance, which is put on by Dance Works, is a one hour, once a month showing of Chicago choreographers. You put your name in the bowl if you are interested in being a featured choreographer, and at the end of that night's performance, three names are drawn for the next Dance Chance. It's really a wonderful experience. And only $3! (Jot down the next date into your calendars: Tuesday, February 8. 6 pm. Ruth Page.)

This was truly the best Dance Chance I've seen. All of the dancers were extremely skilled. The choreography was interesting and beautiful. Also, the three pieces were stylistically different (first: powerful, confrontational, upbeat. second: pensive, fluidly seamless, lovely. third: comic, quirky, whimsical.) yet all had some similarities of movement (we like to use our torsos, don't we Chicago?).

My friend talked about how her piece was partially inspired by how she started to realize that life is not about how much you accomplished in one day, but more about the small things that make you happy. Sipping tea while watching the leaves fall. Making eye contact on the sidewalk and smiling at a stranger. Things that make "life, life."

I listened to her speak poetically with such idealism as I sat between two good friends, both of whom I don't see as often as I would like lately. After we said goodbye and walked separate ways from the el, I realized how sad it makes me that I haven't found the balance between my dance career and my personal relationships.

I am so focused on my classes and choreography and rehearsals that there is little room for anything else right now. Luckily, my husband is rather busy with fight choreography and two shows that perform at the same time...otherwise I would fear for our marriage. But looking past the obviously most important husband, I feel such an emptiness. This "feast or famine" mentality that I've developed just might strangle out the moments that are most inspiring to me: spending time with good friends, meeting new people, traveling to places familiar and exotic, exploring the city that I've lived in for two years and barely know, people watching at cafes, reading (other than Dance Magazine!), listening to live music, painting by myself in the afternoon glow.

There isn't time for everything, all the time. This I know. I want to fit everything in. (What a Libra.) But for now, I think I'll just schedule a few personal days here and there.

just a note

I'm sitting listing to music for the duet that I'm choreographing for IDC, Patsy Cline's "She's Got You." We had auditions last night, and callbacks are tonight. The excitement is buzzing! Several new, beautiful dancers auditioned last night and all were beautiful.

I can't believe that a year ago today I was gearing up for my second concert in Chicago with Matter of Reaction Movement project. So much has happened since then. I wasn't sure if I was going to do a 2010 recap, but I here it is: 5 concerts with 5 different companies, a tour date in Michigan, 3 festivals, 4 new pieces of my choreography shown, the Gatorade/SYTYCD event, a job teaching about a third of the classes at a new studio, joined the artistic cooperative board of IDC, started teaching an after school dance program... I've met so many wonderful people, all who inspire me to keep going forward and try new things.

I'm hoping 2011 holds even half of the opportunities that 2010 had.

Today

Today, IDC performed excerpts of "Gods, Monsters and Heroes" for our dance club and other students at Thurgood Marshall Middle School. I'm hoping that this school performance will help launch more tour dates for the show (which is what I'm working on in my "spare time"). The kids love this show, so I can't wait to share it with more middle and high school students.

I think it's pretty obvious to the few people that read this how busy I am, but I can't help advertising all of the exciting things that I am working on. Mostly on my mind lately are the four world premiere I am developing that will be performed in the spring. A group piece for Renegade Dance Architects (auditions next Friday!), a solo and a group piece for GI Alliance's spring show, and a duet for IDC's spring show. I'm in the final stages of music selection, some casting is yet to be done, and choreography is starting to form. I'm so excited because this is the first time in my adult life that I have the opportunity to choreograph pieces with very few limitations. It's a little scary, to be on my own, to be so vulnerable by exposing my identity as a choreographer.

Want a little teaser info about my pieces? I'll assume you squealed with excitement.

For Renegade: A collaboration with a group of dancers. Themes of isolation, loneliness, and finding your niche.

For the solo: Learning to accept yourself, and then inviting the world to accept you as you are.

For GIA group: "Being together without being together"

For IDC: Quirky, fun duet about breaking up.

I see such beautiful movement, so many pretty pictures shifting through my imagination. Can't wait to share!

Checking off my list, managing time, remembering to breathe

Dance Chicago ended yesterday. I was lucky to be featured in five performances throughout the festival, including opening and closing night. I'm glad to check this festival off my list. No more rushed, last minute reworks. No more cramming into an office calling itself a dressing room with 40 other dancers, all trying to dress, warm up and rehearse on top of each other.

Today is my first day off in a long time, and I feel like I am just barely catching my breath before starting the next race. Even on my day off, I have already spent a couple of hours on IDC touring and outreach work, cleaned some of my apartment, watched about 45 minutes of "Gods, Monsters and Heroes" and am about to make dinner before heading off to company class. I have forgotten how to relax.

I feel like everything is falling into place. Looks like my teaching schedule will possibly change in 2011 which will make me available for all of my currently scheduled rehearsals. New projects are going to be in the works soon.

My stresses and complaints are still the same from the past few weeks, but they are slowly becoming less stressful. I guess learning how to manage my schedule is how I relax.

Look for updates soon.

It's your job

So tired...that's how I've felt on nearly a daily basis for the last month. I don't want that much more free time, to be honest. I just want more sleep and more time to take classes.

Over the summer while I was at the Thodos intensive, one of our guest speakers told us "You should be in class everyday. It's your job." It really hit home, and I completely agree. I just cannot imagine how I could take classes more regularly. With work, teaching, rehearsing and performing all competing for my waking hours, I'm lucky to squeeze in one or two classes a week.

Luckily, I now have the opportunity to take a class for every class I teach at NorthSide Dance Theater. Since I am scheduled to teach 9 classes a week, it's not a problem using up those free classes. Unluckily, my classes aren't always filled, but I am thankful that whenever I have a class that goes empty, Jenn peeks her head into my studio and invites me to come take barre with her.

I feel like I'm in the best shape of my professional dance career, but I know I can be better. I watch professionals that I admire, and feel like I can do almost everything they can. I just need some polish. More class time.

Dance Chicago will be over in just over a week. I keep thinking that I will be able to sleep after that, but in actuality I won't. Setting pieces for Renegade Dance Architects and GI Alliance Dance Co., hopefully producing school shows with Innervation Dance Cooperative. I look forward to being busy, but I also would like to devote more time to myself, to improve and give myself more insurance for a prosperous and prolific career.

On my mind

I'm awake way past my bedtime. It's been happening a lot lately, mostly because my sleep schedule is completely out of wack and I have a lot on my mind.

Yesterday was opening night for Dance Chicago. I performed in a pre-show act with Renegade Dance Architects. We danced our piece "Forgiveness, Not Permission" on the sidewalk in front of Stage 773 (formerly the Theater Building) about 6 times as the audience walked into the venue. It was definitely our most challenging performance yet. In addition to repeating the dance over and over for half an hour, we had to navigate the rake of the driveway, huge cracks in the sidewalk, joggers, dog walkers, interested (and very uninterested) observers. But it was so much fun, as usual. Apparently Sid Smith, dance critic for the Sun-Times and SeeChicagoDance.com, was a bit impressed too. We'll perform the piece again on the stage soon as part of the festival.

I have such a busy month! A short glimpse: I'm in 3 other pieces for Dance Chicago (two that we featured in IDC's last concert, and one that a dance friend Christine Hands choreographed). This weekend, IDC is auditioning for America's Got Talent. NorthSide Dance Theater added two new classes to my schedule (Intermediate Tap on Tuesdays and an additional Intermediate Modern on Saturday mornings). I'm also going to be setting a new piece on the gorgeous and talented dancers in Renegade Dance Architects. Add in co-op meetings, Thurgood Marshall after school program (hopefully starting soon), additional school outreach, GI Alliance Dance Co. rehearsals and studio showing, and work...phew. Good thing I love it all so much.

Seriously, on an almost daily basis I am moved nearly to tears by how fortunate I have been this year. So many opportunities have been presented for myself and Ed, and we couldn't be happier. As much as I want a break just to breathe, I don't want to slow down.

I do, however, wish I could spend more time with the people I love. I just can't get enough time with my husband and my lovely, lovely friends from IDC. Even if I saw you at rehearsal today--I miss you all so much all of the time!

Hopefully, writing all this down will help me sleep now...

Closing

"Gods, Monsters, and Heroes" ended with a bang and a standing ovation. This entire show experience was truly something special, and it's more than bittersweet now that it's over.

Last night at our cast party, I completely broke down. I knew I would cry at some point, but the tears came sooner than expected. Nothing like sobbing in public! I didn't try too hard to contain myself as I looked around the room, at what an amazing group of people I have surrounded myself with for the last 6 months. Every single dancer in this company is important to me. IDC has shown me exactly what I have always dreamt of finding in a dance company: professionalism, talent, passion, camaraderie. The energy of the group as a whole is overwhelming.

I think I hugged and kissed and professed my love for more company members last night than I ever have. I am so happy that even in the last week that I grew closer to my fellow dancers, learned new things about each other, discovered details and nuances that makes each person unique. Everyone has a place in my heart.

In addition to the show closing, IDC was awarded a residency at Thurgood Marshall Middle School this week (to be more specific, we found out on opening night!). We will run a dance program and in exchange receive free rehearsal space and use of the auditorium for performances. At first, the news was so huge that I had a hard time comprehending what it meant for us as a company. Not only do we save thousands of dollars a year and are able to do more with our funds, but we are inspiring young people to follow their artistic passions. For me, and everyone at IDC, this is an absolute dream come true. Performing is my number one love in life (okay, a close second to my husband), but passing on this gift to others in the hope that they will at least appreciate art means a great deal to me.

Thurgood Marshall wants us to start this week with a lecture and demonstration (which means that--YAY--we get to perform some GMH pieces again!), and start teaching classes in a couple of weeks. So the members of IDC's artistic cooperative pulled me aside: "We wanted to wait until after the show was over, but since we need to get started on the school program we have to ask you now. We want you to be part of the co-op." I was shaking like a chihuahua. What exactly does that mean? More of a time commitment, being able to help make decisions about everything in the company, and as one co-op member said, "it becomes your company." I was more than flattered: I would be lying if I denied dreaming about this moment, but never really believed it would happen, at least not after my second show with the company.

I was super excited to accept the position, but it touched my heart even more to hear everyone else's response. All of the congratulations, all of the genuine excitement to have me on board...I couldn't be happier.

IDC has come a long way even since our last show--my husband and greatest critic whose opinion is paramount to me said that this was the "absolute best work" that he has ever seen me do. I simply cannot wait to see where we go next.

Thank you to everyone in the cast for being wonderful and brilliant. I love you all. Thank you to friends who have supported me during this process--it means more to me than you probably know. I'm pretty lucky to have all of this.

The first day of my life

That's how I feel today, or maybe how I'm trying to convince myself to feel.

Yesterday was my last day at Russian Pointe. I now longer have a desk job, a business professional's position, or anything holding me back from my goals. I'm just another starving artist.

Today marks a new beginning, a chance to completely devote myself to my art. This choice has got to propel me forward, so keep in touch for updates.

"Local Objects"

I went to see an amazing display of artistic expression this weekend, called "Local Objects". It was an exhibition of visual art (paintings, sculpture, installations) and then a performance.

I initially was not going to attend since I teach until 4:30 in Rogers Park, and the show space is near McKinley Park on the southwest side of town. Once I realized that I would be able to make it on time (thanks to the help from a friend's offer to drive), I felt slightly obligated to go. My long-time friend, Erin, who is my best friend in Chicago (other than my husband, of course), was performing in the show...and I hardly ever make it out to see her performances.
Plus--it was free!

We arrive at a series of old warehouses, tall and brick and empty and seemingly ominous in the blustery dusk. Entering through the rusty metal door, we passed by dilapidated rooms full of construction debris. Up four flights, we step into a cavernous, ballroom-sized space with huge white columns. Strategic lighting led up through the room to view the artwork. The sculptures were all created from found objects, items discovered in the warehouse itself. Some of the more thoughtful pieces were constructed from sporting equipment, religious icons, tools and electronics, put together beautifully and painted either in bright colors or all black. Two aisles of sculptures led us to the opposite end of the room, all made of found objects. I'll be honest--they weren't my favorite pieces. These sculptures seemed hastily constructed, without much thought (and you'll read why later).

Later in the evening, the performance started. Lights out.
Then the only light was on the artist, sitting on the ledge of the most massive and intricate sculpture in the space: a tractor-shaped melange of objects and wood, all confusion and chaos. Opera singers walked leisurely throughout the room, holding flashlights directed at the columns. The audience was dispersed throughout, and the singers would walk past, all singing different notes and different syllables to create a haunting and ethereal chorus. (Only later did I realize that the columns had sheet music posted on one side, and each singer was pointing their flashlight on the music in order to read what they were singing next.)
Lights out.
Lights up on a dining table, with six men seated on overturned buckets, all wearing bizarre, sculptural hats--a red and glittery Virgin Mary, a bridal-looking veil, sports helmets with exaggerated horns. Some were wearing microphones to amplify their "Mmmm"s and "Ahhh"s, sounding as if they were hungry and eager for a meal. Each time the men made a noise, the opera singers would add a higher-pitched, ascending "Ahhh." The artist and an assistant presented the diners with plates of green pasta--amplified slurping noises added another layer to the "hunger" sounds. Whenever a diner finished a plate of pasta, the artist took the empty plate to another part of the room and smashed it--adding even another dimension to the melody.
Lights out.
On the opposite side of the room, and massive metal barn door opened to reveal a brilliantly lit, beautiful woman seated on a fiery phoenix of a float. She wore a beaded red and gold ballgown and a tiara, and all around her were glittering red and gold feathery flames. She was pulled throughout the space in a parade fashion as she made regal gestures and lip-synced an aria. She dismounted her throne and started following the artist as he walked through the two aisles of sculptures (previous mentioned as "hastily constructed"). He paused in reflection before each piece, and then moved on to another. She, like a shadowy spirit, trailed behind him. Her movements focused on the placement of the arms, articulation of the back, how she was affected throughout her chest. She seemed to be his subconscious thought, saying with her body all of the thoughts that he would not allow himself to say out loud. Suddenly, a sculpture smashed to the ground. A few of the audience members gasped--what an unfortunate mistake! Then, the woman approached another sculpture, reared back, and pushed it forcefully to the ground. She approached each sculpture differently and took them all down, one by one. A man standing next to me said, "Now that's criticism."
Lights out.
Finis.

Unbelievable. Beautiful. I wouldn't have known how amazing this presentation was if I hadn't have been there in person.

(I later learned that the sculptures that Erin attacked were "fakes"--constructed in about 15 minutes from various objects found around the warehouse, made just to be broken.)

Attending this exhibition has reminded me to keep an open mind. I am so inspired by other forms of art and how other artists present their work. I hope that, some day, my work will inspire others in the same way.

The best is yet to come

That's what the fortune inside my cookie said: "Don't give up. The best is yet to come."

I couldn't have thought of a more appropriate fortune. Even though I definitely haven't been thinking of giving up, I can sense that something great is coming.

Classes started at NorthSide Dance Theater (http://www.northsidedt.com/), and I think it's been a really nice beginning. Considering that the only real marketing has been the booth at the Glenwood Arts Festival a few weeks ago, I think we are doing well. A few of our students are our friends and family, but we also have a few that are neighborhood locals and live down the street from the studio. I'm excited to spend more time promoting the studio so that everyone can see what a fantastic program and space we have.

Sadly, I just learned today that the majority of my youth classes have been cancelled for this session. A new session starts in November, so hopefully we will have more interest then. All I can ask is that if you or someone you know is interested in taking dance classes at any level, please come check us out. Even for one class.

I can't really explain how awesome it feels to be teaching again. Developing curriculum, planning classes, creating new combinations, seeing my students work so hard... I also appreciate that I am being involved in the creation of a new business and can see as everything falls in place. We have mirrors now! Soon--ballet barres! And the marley floor for the ballet studio will be put down soon!

In addition to the excitement of classes, Innervation Dance Cooperative's show "Gods, Monsters and Heroes" is only two short weeks away! We have been working so hard, so long...I can't wait to perform it. Everything has fallen into place, and even though I am still relatively new to IDC, I think it's going to be their best show yet. Tickets are on sale through Theater Wit, and the show runs Oct. 6-10. Hope to see you there.

I guess this post is mainly to reach out for support on these exciting projects, but also know--there is definitely more to come.

As usual, I don't have time for a full update. Just a little note.

Classes at Northside Dance Theater start tomorrow! I'm obviously excited. I spend most of my free time thinking about my classes. I have wanted to teach since I moved to Chicago, I just always envisioned teaching as part of my life here, and now it's finally happening. (If you didn't know--this is what I want to do with my life! So this new "job" is a pretty big deal to me.)
I'm teaching 12 classes: ballet and jazz for 6-8 years old and 8-11 years old, tap for 6-8 year olds, a couple of beginning modern classes for teens and adults, intermediate modern, beginning adult jazz and beginning adult tap. Come take class from me!

NSDT had its opening party on Friday, and we had a pretty large group celebrating with us. What made the party even better was that construction was done earlier that day to put up the dividing walls between the lobby and the small studio, plus a doorway between the two studios.

The space is gorgeous. Of course, it is empty right now, but the studios are large with nice wood floors (the large ballet studio will have a marley floor), huge front windows (which will be covered), water fountains, two bathrooms, two dressing room areas...it's wonderful.

Other than the new studio, I'm working on a couple of shows still. IDC is in the final stretch of rehearsals for October's "Gods, Monsters and Heroes." Only one more month before the show at Theater Wit! We have a run through in about a week, and I think everything is almost finished. We've been working on the show for over 6 months now, so it's exciting to see it all come together. Per IDC's usual, a little something for everyone: modern, jazz, waltz (!), tap, and great music.

Rehearsals start again with Dmitri Peskov after about a month off. More details as soon as I have them, but he mentioned that the show will be in June.

I'm positive that I will have a lot of news in about a week!

Keep on rollin

Last week we had our last performance of the "season" for Renegade Dance Architects. We met at the Bean, warmed up, and then walked to State Street to hopefully perform in front of the Chicago Theatre, or the news room across the street. Our plans were shattered by the presence of the stationary police officer...and as a group we decided that it was a little too risky to perform right in front of him. So we moved down to about State and Washington, right by a bus stop, and just started dancing in the middle of everyone's commute.
People would step off the bus, a dozen at a time, just as we were about to grande jete in their direction. We weaved in and out of the crowd, and yet no one seemed to bat an eyelash. The general public is quite skilled at ignoring what makes them uncomfortable. I think it's become a challenge for us at Renegade: how far we can push to get people to snap out of their day-to-day trance? One of the dancers spent part of the piece leaning against the bus shelter, most of us followed pedestrians on their heels or cut in front of a businessman for a little glissade pas de chat. The only person that I recall actually paying attention to us was the security guard that peeked out of the door just as we finished dancing. "Good morning!" Ginger (Jensen, artistic director) chirped. "Have a great day!" as we snatched our belongings off the sidewalk and briskly walked down the street into the crowd.
It was a perfect period at the end of the RDA sentence. Except that now that period should be replaced with an exclamation point--our piece, "Forgiveness, Not Permission" was just accepted into Dance Chicago's New Moves program!

More exciting news, I get to see the studios of Northside Dance Theater today. We have a booth at the Glenwood Avenue Arts Festival, plus GI Alliance will be performing and the studio will be open for viewing. Anyone who signs up for classes today will received an exclusive NSDT t-shirt! I'm so excited to start teaching (and for those friends who have asked--I will be teaching an Int. Modern class!), and it's only a couple weeks until classes start.

One last update: Myself and about 8 of my friends were selected to choreograph short dances for Gatorade's So You Think You Can Dance-inspired marketing event. If you didn't already know, SYTYCD and Gatorade have partnered up, and now Gatorade is recognizing dance as a sport. Gatorade is based out of Chicago, and on Tuesday the marketing employees are competing in teams just like SYTYCD. They pull a genre out of a hat, and we have about 3 hours to teach a dance. I have ballet--so tough! It's going to be a truly awesome experience.

I'll tell you all about it later.