Today

Today, IDC performed excerpts of "Gods, Monsters and Heroes" for our dance club and other students at Thurgood Marshall Middle School. I'm hoping that this school performance will help launch more tour dates for the show (which is what I'm working on in my "spare time"). The kids love this show, so I can't wait to share it with more middle and high school students.

I think it's pretty obvious to the few people that read this how busy I am, but I can't help advertising all of the exciting things that I am working on. Mostly on my mind lately are the four world premiere I am developing that will be performed in the spring. A group piece for Renegade Dance Architects (auditions next Friday!), a solo and a group piece for GI Alliance's spring show, and a duet for IDC's spring show. I'm in the final stages of music selection, some casting is yet to be done, and choreography is starting to form. I'm so excited because this is the first time in my adult life that I have the opportunity to choreograph pieces with very few limitations. It's a little scary, to be on my own, to be so vulnerable by exposing my identity as a choreographer.

Want a little teaser info about my pieces? I'll assume you squealed with excitement.

For Renegade: A collaboration with a group of dancers. Themes of isolation, loneliness, and finding your niche.

For the solo: Learning to accept yourself, and then inviting the world to accept you as you are.

For GIA group: "Being together without being together"

For IDC: Quirky, fun duet about breaking up.

I see such beautiful movement, so many pretty pictures shifting through my imagination. Can't wait to share!

Checking off my list, managing time, remembering to breathe

Dance Chicago ended yesterday. I was lucky to be featured in five performances throughout the festival, including opening and closing night. I'm glad to check this festival off my list. No more rushed, last minute reworks. No more cramming into an office calling itself a dressing room with 40 other dancers, all trying to dress, warm up and rehearse on top of each other.

Today is my first day off in a long time, and I feel like I am just barely catching my breath before starting the next race. Even on my day off, I have already spent a couple of hours on IDC touring and outreach work, cleaned some of my apartment, watched about 45 minutes of "Gods, Monsters and Heroes" and am about to make dinner before heading off to company class. I have forgotten how to relax.

I feel like everything is falling into place. Looks like my teaching schedule will possibly change in 2011 which will make me available for all of my currently scheduled rehearsals. New projects are going to be in the works soon.

My stresses and complaints are still the same from the past few weeks, but they are slowly becoming less stressful. I guess learning how to manage my schedule is how I relax.

Look for updates soon.

It's your job

So tired...that's how I've felt on nearly a daily basis for the last month. I don't want that much more free time, to be honest. I just want more sleep and more time to take classes.

Over the summer while I was at the Thodos intensive, one of our guest speakers told us "You should be in class everyday. It's your job." It really hit home, and I completely agree. I just cannot imagine how I could take classes more regularly. With work, teaching, rehearsing and performing all competing for my waking hours, I'm lucky to squeeze in one or two classes a week.

Luckily, I now have the opportunity to take a class for every class I teach at NorthSide Dance Theater. Since I am scheduled to teach 9 classes a week, it's not a problem using up those free classes. Unluckily, my classes aren't always filled, but I am thankful that whenever I have a class that goes empty, Jenn peeks her head into my studio and invites me to come take barre with her.

I feel like I'm in the best shape of my professional dance career, but I know I can be better. I watch professionals that I admire, and feel like I can do almost everything they can. I just need some polish. More class time.

Dance Chicago will be over in just over a week. I keep thinking that I will be able to sleep after that, but in actuality I won't. Setting pieces for Renegade Dance Architects and GI Alliance Dance Co., hopefully producing school shows with Innervation Dance Cooperative. I look forward to being busy, but I also would like to devote more time to myself, to improve and give myself more insurance for a prosperous and prolific career.

On my mind

I'm awake way past my bedtime. It's been happening a lot lately, mostly because my sleep schedule is completely out of wack and I have a lot on my mind.

Yesterday was opening night for Dance Chicago. I performed in a pre-show act with Renegade Dance Architects. We danced our piece "Forgiveness, Not Permission" on the sidewalk in front of Stage 773 (formerly the Theater Building) about 6 times as the audience walked into the venue. It was definitely our most challenging performance yet. In addition to repeating the dance over and over for half an hour, we had to navigate the rake of the driveway, huge cracks in the sidewalk, joggers, dog walkers, interested (and very uninterested) observers. But it was so much fun, as usual. Apparently Sid Smith, dance critic for the Sun-Times and SeeChicagoDance.com, was a bit impressed too. We'll perform the piece again on the stage soon as part of the festival.

I have such a busy month! A short glimpse: I'm in 3 other pieces for Dance Chicago (two that we featured in IDC's last concert, and one that a dance friend Christine Hands choreographed). This weekend, IDC is auditioning for America's Got Talent. NorthSide Dance Theater added two new classes to my schedule (Intermediate Tap on Tuesdays and an additional Intermediate Modern on Saturday mornings). I'm also going to be setting a new piece on the gorgeous and talented dancers in Renegade Dance Architects. Add in co-op meetings, Thurgood Marshall after school program (hopefully starting soon), additional school outreach, GI Alliance Dance Co. rehearsals and studio showing, and work...phew. Good thing I love it all so much.

Seriously, on an almost daily basis I am moved nearly to tears by how fortunate I have been this year. So many opportunities have been presented for myself and Ed, and we couldn't be happier. As much as I want a break just to breathe, I don't want to slow down.

I do, however, wish I could spend more time with the people I love. I just can't get enough time with my husband and my lovely, lovely friends from IDC. Even if I saw you at rehearsal today--I miss you all so much all of the time!

Hopefully, writing all this down will help me sleep now...

Closing

"Gods, Monsters, and Heroes" ended with a bang and a standing ovation. This entire show experience was truly something special, and it's more than bittersweet now that it's over.

Last night at our cast party, I completely broke down. I knew I would cry at some point, but the tears came sooner than expected. Nothing like sobbing in public! I didn't try too hard to contain myself as I looked around the room, at what an amazing group of people I have surrounded myself with for the last 6 months. Every single dancer in this company is important to me. IDC has shown me exactly what I have always dreamt of finding in a dance company: professionalism, talent, passion, camaraderie. The energy of the group as a whole is overwhelming.

I think I hugged and kissed and professed my love for more company members last night than I ever have. I am so happy that even in the last week that I grew closer to my fellow dancers, learned new things about each other, discovered details and nuances that makes each person unique. Everyone has a place in my heart.

In addition to the show closing, IDC was awarded a residency at Thurgood Marshall Middle School this week (to be more specific, we found out on opening night!). We will run a dance program and in exchange receive free rehearsal space and use of the auditorium for performances. At first, the news was so huge that I had a hard time comprehending what it meant for us as a company. Not only do we save thousands of dollars a year and are able to do more with our funds, but we are inspiring young people to follow their artistic passions. For me, and everyone at IDC, this is an absolute dream come true. Performing is my number one love in life (okay, a close second to my husband), but passing on this gift to others in the hope that they will at least appreciate art means a great deal to me.

Thurgood Marshall wants us to start this week with a lecture and demonstration (which means that--YAY--we get to perform some GMH pieces again!), and start teaching classes in a couple of weeks. So the members of IDC's artistic cooperative pulled me aside: "We wanted to wait until after the show was over, but since we need to get started on the school program we have to ask you now. We want you to be part of the co-op." I was shaking like a chihuahua. What exactly does that mean? More of a time commitment, being able to help make decisions about everything in the company, and as one co-op member said, "it becomes your company." I was more than flattered: I would be lying if I denied dreaming about this moment, but never really believed it would happen, at least not after my second show with the company.

I was super excited to accept the position, but it touched my heart even more to hear everyone else's response. All of the congratulations, all of the genuine excitement to have me on board...I couldn't be happier.

IDC has come a long way even since our last show--my husband and greatest critic whose opinion is paramount to me said that this was the "absolute best work" that he has ever seen me do. I simply cannot wait to see where we go next.

Thank you to everyone in the cast for being wonderful and brilliant. I love you all. Thank you to friends who have supported me during this process--it means more to me than you probably know. I'm pretty lucky to have all of this.

The first day of my life

That's how I feel today, or maybe how I'm trying to convince myself to feel.

Yesterday was my last day at Russian Pointe. I now longer have a desk job, a business professional's position, or anything holding me back from my goals. I'm just another starving artist.

Today marks a new beginning, a chance to completely devote myself to my art. This choice has got to propel me forward, so keep in touch for updates.

"Local Objects"

I went to see an amazing display of artistic expression this weekend, called "Local Objects". It was an exhibition of visual art (paintings, sculpture, installations) and then a performance.

I initially was not going to attend since I teach until 4:30 in Rogers Park, and the show space is near McKinley Park on the southwest side of town. Once I realized that I would be able to make it on time (thanks to the help from a friend's offer to drive), I felt slightly obligated to go. My long-time friend, Erin, who is my best friend in Chicago (other than my husband, of course), was performing in the show...and I hardly ever make it out to see her performances.
Plus--it was free!

We arrive at a series of old warehouses, tall and brick and empty and seemingly ominous in the blustery dusk. Entering through the rusty metal door, we passed by dilapidated rooms full of construction debris. Up four flights, we step into a cavernous, ballroom-sized space with huge white columns. Strategic lighting led up through the room to view the artwork. The sculptures were all created from found objects, items discovered in the warehouse itself. Some of the more thoughtful pieces were constructed from sporting equipment, religious icons, tools and electronics, put together beautifully and painted either in bright colors or all black. Two aisles of sculptures led us to the opposite end of the room, all made of found objects. I'll be honest--they weren't my favorite pieces. These sculptures seemed hastily constructed, without much thought (and you'll read why later).

Later in the evening, the performance started. Lights out.
Then the only light was on the artist, sitting on the ledge of the most massive and intricate sculpture in the space: a tractor-shaped melange of objects and wood, all confusion and chaos. Opera singers walked leisurely throughout the room, holding flashlights directed at the columns. The audience was dispersed throughout, and the singers would walk past, all singing different notes and different syllables to create a haunting and ethereal chorus. (Only later did I realize that the columns had sheet music posted on one side, and each singer was pointing their flashlight on the music in order to read what they were singing next.)
Lights out.
Lights up on a dining table, with six men seated on overturned buckets, all wearing bizarre, sculptural hats--a red and glittery Virgin Mary, a bridal-looking veil, sports helmets with exaggerated horns. Some were wearing microphones to amplify their "Mmmm"s and "Ahhh"s, sounding as if they were hungry and eager for a meal. Each time the men made a noise, the opera singers would add a higher-pitched, ascending "Ahhh." The artist and an assistant presented the diners with plates of green pasta--amplified slurping noises added another layer to the "hunger" sounds. Whenever a diner finished a plate of pasta, the artist took the empty plate to another part of the room and smashed it--adding even another dimension to the melody.
Lights out.
On the opposite side of the room, and massive metal barn door opened to reveal a brilliantly lit, beautiful woman seated on a fiery phoenix of a float. She wore a beaded red and gold ballgown and a tiara, and all around her were glittering red and gold feathery flames. She was pulled throughout the space in a parade fashion as she made regal gestures and lip-synced an aria. She dismounted her throne and started following the artist as he walked through the two aisles of sculptures (previous mentioned as "hastily constructed"). He paused in reflection before each piece, and then moved on to another. She, like a shadowy spirit, trailed behind him. Her movements focused on the placement of the arms, articulation of the back, how she was affected throughout her chest. She seemed to be his subconscious thought, saying with her body all of the thoughts that he would not allow himself to say out loud. Suddenly, a sculpture smashed to the ground. A few of the audience members gasped--what an unfortunate mistake! Then, the woman approached another sculpture, reared back, and pushed it forcefully to the ground. She approached each sculpture differently and took them all down, one by one. A man standing next to me said, "Now that's criticism."
Lights out.
Finis.

Unbelievable. Beautiful. I wouldn't have known how amazing this presentation was if I hadn't have been there in person.

(I later learned that the sculptures that Erin attacked were "fakes"--constructed in about 15 minutes from various objects found around the warehouse, made just to be broken.)

Attending this exhibition has reminded me to keep an open mind. I am so inspired by other forms of art and how other artists present their work. I hope that, some day, my work will inspire others in the same way.