Working hard, or hardly working?

Last week, a friend of mine interrogated me, in a very conversational way, on my career goals. What do I see myself doing in 5 years? What is it that I wish I was doing right now? What do I need to do to reach those goals? All these questions ended the way they started: Why am I selling myself short?

I've always known that this is what would involve pursuing a dance career: more rejection than praise, criticism (years of ballet should have prepared me for that), working harder every day than you did the day before. Self-doubt and self-pity shouldn't be in that mix.

One of my close friends seems to have been so lucky, blessed, fortunate--however you look at it--since she started auditioning for professional work. I hate that I am jealous, and even more I hate that it makes me wonder what exactly is wrong with me. But even through my jealousy, I can see why she has earned so much praise and validation: she puts in the work. Dance comes first, there aren't any excuses.

It's something that I (and we as dancers) have to constantly remember--you have to work for this. Dancing is not like riding a bicycle, you can't hop on and off and expect the same result.

So I've come back to the first lesson that dance teaches you: discipline. I think it's the hardest thing to retain once you become an independent adult. You have choices, and you don't always want to do what is best for you.